If you know such a person in your group, please stand up for them and chances are you'll uncover something you didn't know.įor anyone who has seen a brilliant movie like Whiplash which also gives out a very important message that unless you push someone to the limits you can't get them to perform at their best version. Soon no matter how abusive the jokes get, guess what? they shall stay in the group. Why do they have to do that every time? Because they are insecure of being alienated and left alone. Over time, that perception begins to reshape and skew how they view the person keeping them hostage or abusing them.Įver observed a friend who doesn't mind being heckled and made fun of? and yet the group shall make him the scapegoat of all the jokes? they would laugh with everyone and pretend like nothing happened.
In such cases when the Abuser shows some Kindness like asking you how you are, or taking you out for a coffee / drink, sharing personal stories with you, you may begin to feel positive feelings for their compassion and then the abuse - namesake compassion loop continues. We often feel threatened by our Captor / Abuser / Employer and feel like we are highly reliant on them for survival (which is not true). Abuse in any situation erodes the morale of the abused while promoting a culture of fear and distrust. The above is true for relationships with your partner as well. Eventually, the self-esteem of the employee suffers, and he or she engages in self-doubt and self -blame, which can only serve to make it more difficult to leave the situation. The employee hesitates to speak up for fear of job loss, being passed over for promotions, and financial consequences. They can be subjected to verbal abuse, belittling, asked to complete unreasonable tasks, and can even become isolated so that it is difficult to reach out for help. Fear is a potent emotion and hence most abuse be it verbal or physical shall go unreported.Įmployees become intensely connected to their bosses while simultaneously feeling mistreated. They may think that if they approach HR or higher management, the implications will be more devastating than the actual abuse. Lori Davis who specializes in PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) stated Victims of workplace abuse often tell themselves that the problem will go away or may be the yelling of the boss isn't much of a big deal because he is a nice person.
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